Well, that's done (for now)...

So it went well in court yesterday. SP greedily accepted a cash offer rather than deal with the condition of the children's welfare before a judge. We thought it was fair and hope things settle down for us and the children.
But it won't, I'm sure.
SP's like him will be sated for a few months and then when there are no targets he can hit on (and in the case of his son, we understand that to mean literally hit on), he'll be back at us.
Pathetic little loser.

So why are we so much better? Who the heck are we?
We're not THAT special (unless you ask mom), but we're not interested in stepping on people. We could probably be more "successful" if we clawed a little more, but we also like to sleep at night without tranquilizers.
We love our kids unconditionally. They can hate us all they want - we'll hope they grow out of it and we'll be there.
We're readers, big time.
I've been in engineering since '76. I also write and have had minor success being published - a career there is a goal.
Deb is in banking and is a natural numbers-person.
We always felt pretty conservative, politically, but President Bush is turning out to be the best advertisement for Liberal causes there ever was. What a snake. He is - Wait! - that's for another posting...
We like things organized and simple.
We've traveled a bit and like it.
We've both move WAY too much and regret it. I'm on my 33rd residence and Deb figures she's at about her 14th. And neither of us are "Army Brats." Sheesh...
We're silly and proud of it.

Our pet peeves:
Parents who don't allow children to have a childhood
Children who think a household is a democracy
Inefficiency
Incompetence (this covers a lot - why are there so many morons out there?)
Self-absorbed heads-up-their-own-butt public figures
Partisan new reports. That's what editorials and Andy Rooney accomplish
Autos with stereos that rattle my windows. Aren't there noise pollution laws?
(those are the basics - I'm sure there are more but I'm having a great day)

One of mine is "The Process." You'll have to tune in later for my feelings on that.
Be nice.

Kids - there's no explanation sometimes

Children love their parents.
Children of a divorce seem to love the parent they live with more.
My wife has two kids (15 & 19 as of 9/05) that live with their father (long twisted story).
I have a son who turns 18 in Feb of '06 and he lives with his mother.
Why they all think were pond scum is beyond us.

My ex-wife is an angry person who thinks she's being a strong woman but after eleven years (yes, I have the patience of a saint, sez my mom), well she wore me out waiting for the happy person to arrive. I was supportive, caring, generous, and frankly a better parent. I was the soccer-dad because she was too busy chatting online or yelling at her (fill in member of her family here) on the phone.

Debbie's ex is a sadistic prick (SP) who's is actively sacrificing his children's normal adolescence to hurt their mother. A victim of child abuse, my wonderful wife has certain sensitivities (anger, loud noises, disorganization) that I watch for and understand. SP on the other hand, is a Jeckle & Hyde, lying, cheating, weak little man. Here's a snapshot:

Snorted cocaine on his honeymoon, shocking and surprising Deb (no drugs at all)
Got fired from the Post Office for stealing YOUR mail.
DUI.
Is an alcoholic and used meth.
Cheated on Deb twice (that she knows about).
Likes to car shop just so he can get into a fight with salesmen.
Basically a poster child for the "Mean People Suck" bumpersticker.

When SP decided to leave Deb for his girlfriend, Deb fell apart. He offers to take the kids he had not been supporting for a while (what a guy). The transfer wasn't pretty, but she was losing it. A week after she starts to get some peace, she's dragged into court, loses custody, and has to pay almost $700/month child support. Temporary my ass.

Since then, both my ex (who received $1800/month) until she remarried (God help him) and Deb's ex have worked a collaborative campaign to divide us and punish us. We want to make things well for the kids, but that seems to threaten the ex's. Deb's son said he wants us dead, my son said if I try to visit he'll cut his wrist, and the older daughter, while finally maturing, was her father's foremost spy, stealing records, phone numbers, snooping and generally being evil to us to please her dad (I assume).

Here's how he's done with his kids:
The daughter was raped while in his care.
She was forced to live with us because they're arguments had become physical.
She was extremely promiscuous and contracted an STD.
The son is 15 and lives with his girlfriend most weekends.
He's failing school.
He's using drugs.

I'm a little luckier with my son. He's doing good in school and his only vice seems to be video games, but he has anger issues with me because of his mom's edited version of everything that ever happened. However, he wants me completely out of his life, and there's no reason for it.

Sure, these kids may have issues, but the ex's can make it work for all concerned by not wanting to upset the children. By not lying and pounding these stories (that what a surprise, make them look like victims or martyrs every time) into the kids ears. By not using phone calls or visits as a forum to berate us in front of the children.

Tomorrow we have to go to court because Deb's ex is at it again. In 2002, the daughter came to live with us (yeah, I rolled the dice and prayed, but it worked out OK) and we agreed (in writing) to suspend the support as each parent supported a child. We couldn't agree on a support amount because the daughter aged-out of the support order. We asked him to get a court date, and he waited a year to do so (during which time, we voluntarily paid him support. Now he's filed a claim declaring her a deadbeat-mom. He alleges arrearages for the whole time the daughter lived with us, and denies most of the support.

Most of the time, you hear of kids that live with their dad after a divorce and you think "man what's wrong with her?" As long as there are SP's in the world, kids will suffer and non-custodial parents will look like dog crap. In a way, this ties in with my first posting. We don't own this country. We are losing this country to finger-pointers and SP's who are so small and weak that they need to kill their children's future in order to look good to those who know them the least. We know bad people. You know bad people. We don't shun them anymore. They're not driven from the village for the good of the population. That job is solely with the courts. People like SP are only spanked when brought before the system, and the system is too overcrowded to know all the facts and have an effect.

When will we take responsibility?
Be nice.

Good new about Customer Service?

So, when my wife called the companies mentioned previously, no calls back. When I called and asked for a call-back, I got calls from all the companies the next day. Is it coincidence that they all called back? Was there an edgy sound that produced a responce? I think a component of lousy customer service is that you don't have to complain or gripe loudly, but you can't sound complacent with the situation. I have a friend that swears it is a conspiracy between large companies to lessen service and only help those who yell. Where did the "squeaky wheel" saying come from? Hmmmm. I wish it weren't true, but it does seem you have to be serious about results to get them.
The good news is The Water Stop in Upland, CA. John runs things there, and he seems to drop everything and come running when there is an issue with our softener or RO system. He's amazing. Kind of guy that makes you almost reluctant to ask for help because he's so immediate. But we wish him the best. He is an example for companies everywhere.
Next stop: Modern spoiled kids.....
Be nice.

What the heck happened to customer service?

Businesses need a major slap-down for ignoring their customers. Went to Home Depot yesterday - couldn't find anyone - found a moron who didn't know any area besides his own. Found another guy - helped HIM find a sink for the customer in front of me. Hang around 20 minutes while he gets it down from the rafters. Then he proceeds to help someone who stepped between me and the employee!! I said:
"Excuse me I was wait- "
"SIR, I AM THE ONLY ONE HERE YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT!"
"I was waiting - I helped you with the sink."
"WELL YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT, I AM HELPING SOMEONE AS YOU CAN SEE!"

I went bullshit.

Had to get the manager to help me - he got it wrong and I returned the parts anyway.
BUT
I figure you have to yell these days.
You have to complain.
If you don't scream, nobody cares.

Called a plumber - they're blowing me off until they finish "emergencies." I have no water - what's that? Doc Joe has no concern for my business.

Got countertops and need some rework - they won't call me back. Maybe because they already got my money? Kitchens & Stone has no concern for my business.

Got cabinets and need some additional work - they're not calling me back. Yup, paid them too, sothey're not interested in helping. Mark Allen Custom has no concern for my business.

Yup, it was a bad day overall. I'l get back to serious stuff tomorrow. There's more important things going on, but I gotta vent.
Be nice.

The first one

What Dean Writes should often spur debate but maybe not every time. I will try to have something interesting to post and not waste your time. Lately, what pisses me off is political rhetoric and towing the line. I just don't think we own this country anymore. I'm not sure who does, but it's not the middle class.
I have to think more on this, rather than spew characters that are redundant. You'll see more on this and new stuff, if it matters.
Be nice. <- a good way to start and finish everything.