Never Do Business With Family

Ever loan $20 to your brother and expect it back?
I don't dislike the family, but the saying is true.

But this post isn't about the small stuff.

I decided to leave my job for another one. I'll get 80% more pay and bennies like I made in the old days, pre dot.com implosion. I should be happy...
Mark is my best friend outside of my marriage. I've known him since 1985,. when we worked together. Most work relationships don't last past getting another job, but we've held on. Strangely, we have little in common - I write stories, he writes software. I just sat here for 5 minutes trying to write more 'me versus him' examples, but the first one really says it best. What we have in our friendship is a comfort level that allow us to peer into each other's world and not compete. He's been the stable one, where I have been more ... flighty? I seem to keep searching for the next adventure while Mark know what he does best and sticks with it.

Which is why the latest adventure is making me sick.

Mark hired me to work for his company almost 2 years ago. He couldn't afford much as he was on a mission to grow the company from a one-man operation to a mature business, requiring my design skills and the help of others. I love what I do in the engineering world, and though I'd rather be a full-time author, this pays the bills usually. Well, this job didn't pay all the bills, and I fnally - out of necessity - allowed a recruiter to tell me about an opportunity to do pretty much what I do for Mark, but without the drain to my savings.

I could say "Well, he knew I had to keep my eyes open for other work," but did I? My relatives tell me I have to look out for 'number one' and "you gotta do what you gotta do," but except for my wife Debbie, who else is number one? He's being stoic and wants me to help him out part-time so as not to cut off the work relationship - I wish he'd get pissed and yell at me so I'd feel good about looking out for my bottom line. I feel like a rat fleeing a ship that's not sinking - the rations have just run a little low. Jeez, I'm not even writing this very well.

See what I mean about family? Mark is family and I should be happy to score a better gig. Right now I am a little ambivalent. In time, maybe things will be OK, but right now I feel greedy.

The Process, Part 1

Why did the government get it wrong after Katrina? There are a lot of stupid things that happen these days, but this has been a pretty well documented showcase if idiocy.

I think I know why it went so horribly wrong - THE PROCESS.

The boss at a company I worked for back in 1996-99 came to our staff meeting, smiling and excited like a teenage boy who just figured out girls are fun. Karl told us - more than that, he proclaimed - the "Process" was king. It was the rule in all decisions. You couldn't go wrong if you just followed it, and if you went wrong, it was the process that failed, not you.
In short, it was "Process or Perish."

What kind of horse-hockey is this? Something didn't sound right...

As an engineer, I understand the concept. There is a group "out there" called the International Organization for Standardization (ISO for short - you'd think it would be IOS, but it seems to be a translation-thing). When you can document the processes that make your company work and then demonstrate that you can carry them out, you can get various levels of "ISO" approval. Companies are proud to get ISO-9000, 9001, 9002 approvals, and you see these designations on a lot of technical companies. The importance is kinda like getting a degree in college. You have proof that you've endured a process to learn and apply yourself like other graduates, so employers know what they're getting for an AS, a BS, or an MS. Levels of ISO show the depth of the processes you've defined within your organization, so that government agencies and other companies who desire your product know you've done the "due diligence" to produce consistency at the level of your ISO approval.

So yeah, it is important.

Problem is, people like Karl (and way too many others - think FEMA staffers) use THE PROCESS as a get-out-of-jail card or a pardon from the governor. Folks who worship THE PROCESS (we'll call it TP for short), these people justify their actions (or inaction) as following the steps defined by TP. It looked like the FEMA managers sat at computers and monitored email, sending out warnings and status reports. They weren't out there making things happen to save lives, they weren't screaming at supplier and rescuers and the National Guard to get into action. I'll bet few of them ever got wet. But...

I'll bet they used TP and technically did their job. What would your answer be to the following scenarios?
1. You need four signatures to release food and ice and blankets and you can only get three, and you'll get in trouble for not following TP. Are you really wrong for allowing the Superdome quagmire to occur?
2. You're a FEMA manager watching CNN and people are drowning and survivors are clinging to rooftops and you haven't received a request from the mayor in the proper format. Can you send your helicopter to help?
3. There are dozens of school busses parked in a lot that you as mayor or city manager could use to evacuate people who you KNOW are probably too poor or ill-equipped to figure out how to get out of New Orleans. You'll catch hell for borrowing them without permission, and maybe lose your job for not following TP. What do you do?
The answers are either one of Morality or according to TP:
1. TP says nope, you did your job. Crack open a beer and have documentation ready.
2. TP says hell no, you may not risk my helos, those things are expensive!
3. TP says call for permission, document the denial of permission, send a few emails calmly warning of trouble, but don't usurp TP - it is after all, your "out." Who'd hire a loose cannon like you?

1, 2, and 3. Morality says "My God, make a judgment, forge the last signature if you have to, steal the equipment, lie to those who cling to TP, and save those poor people! How can you face yourself otherwise?!"

When was the last time someone who followed the Moral decision really got his head handed to him? There might be some ass-whipping to endure, but I doubt it. Remember Mayor Juliani after 9-11? He could have sat in his office and said "Gee, this looks bad. Send emails to my staff advising them of the situation, I'm gonna hide in the emergency command station, make the required phone calls, and come out when things are clear." No, Rudy was on the ground, making snap decisions, seeing for himself, doing the work of a human being and being immortalized on the run. I doubt he referred to TP.

The Process is how we all make things happen without asking "Do you know what to do here?" and that's fine. The Process is how fires are fought, surgeries choreographed, battles won. But in all these scenarios, things can go disastrously wrong, and when the playbook doesn't have a chapter on "too much smoke/blood/bullets" you had better make tough choices or you'll rest your performance on TP. TP is also a familiar acronym for toilet paper, and if you can't switch to a moral choice when lives are at stake, The Process can really be just TP.

Told you I'd get serious at some point.
Be nice.